For over nine months this website has hung dry like a cloud of dry sand in the middle of a desert, like a posted note with a million other reminder of things that was constantly on my mind… all the things I wanted and felt I should be doing.

A pattern of thoughts would flood my mind daily of the things I am ignoring, neglecting and flat out delaying important tasks that I don’t feel like doing… But what about my blog? My Instagram… my courses, Kōstl, my future plans, my family, my husband, and all my other responsibilities? The list went on for miles. Not having a clue where to start or where I left off…

My life changed so much this year. It’s kind of crazy. Now being employed while learning to create balance and harmony to amalgamate a 

daily sacred routine that is flexible enough to add intentional goals to help me in this perpetual journey of mine.

I’m gonna let myself be vulnerable here and share some aspects of my struggles… I caught myself a few too many times just torn and in tears, not really knowing for sure the one root cause… It was as if my body, my tears, my heart just needed to be set free. To surrender and let myself break, scream, pour,and eventually flow to a stop at some majestic placid ocean cove…

Take me there I asked… carry me there my gentle heart. A silent place I can rest, feel safe, and be still.

How I missed those intentional sacred mornings I so longed for…

Though my days felt longer and exhausting at times, I knew and was conscious enough to recognize that this is exactly where I needed to be in this phase of my life.

It has been almost 13 years since I was last employed… I had forgotten how much I loved structure, challenge and efficiency.

I also realized how much I enjoy observing people and noticing their unique ways of being…

From creating memories, rapport, new friendships, ideals and the experiences I know I wont regret but appreciate…

This year has been very fruitful thus far… It has been a gradual slow ascend, and from where I’m currently at, the view is pretty fucking amazing. I am truly so happy and fortunate that I’ve been given more reasons to be grateful.

I am discovering, learning and developing so much that my soul is rising atop my head, beaming in joy that it’s all “making sense” for my human mind to comprehend just how wonderful this life is.

 What with all the new possibilities, opportunities and untapped potential just waiting to be embodied and expressed.

Maybe this first come back is the beginning of the next phase of this transcendental journey. The part where I share myself and show up intentionally… to be seen, to be felt and to create from this overflowing heart within.

For now I end this post but I’m already looking forward for the next one to come

Let me leave you with my absolute favourite mantra and affirmation for aligned reality creation. Designing your ideal life with your heart and intention.

I am so happy and grateful now that everything that my heart truly desires comes to be easily and effortlessly.

I am so happy and grateful now that; I [ am ] … 

I am so hopeful that you will bring about positive and exciting changes in your life and that you will receive everything that your soul deserves.

See you on the next one!

with love and gratitude,

ox.ox. Zen ㅤꨄ︎